As we judge others we judge ourselves. There are no others so we need to recognize that when we compare ourselves to someone else we are saying "I am not good enough" in some way. Or when we think someone has harmed us and judge them for it or feel angry toward them or hold a grudge toward them we are making a painful attempt to be separate from them. Since we are all God's children and connected through Universal love, disconnecting from any other person becomes more painful as we get farther and farther away from them through hatred, anger, fear, guilt, shame, frustration or any other negative emotion. The only painless emotions are love and gratitude!
In a world where there is harsh judgment bombarding us we have to find a place of peace and reflection on who we are and what we believe. I found this article in all of my many papers that have been tucked away in my desk and thought I would share it over the next few postings.
At an early age, many of us are taught by well meaning care givers like parents, older siblings, teachers, clergy, grandparents and other authority figures that we "should" be different than how we feel or who we are. As we grow up our unique experience3s inform us, socialize us, to suppress our feelings, feel not good enough or to be responsible for the feelings of others. The other day I heard a woman say to her 9 year old son "When you don't live up to your promise to me you make me feel bad." Suddenly this young boy is made to feel responsible for his mothers feelings when clearly it is her decision and responsibility to manage her own feelings. Learning how to love yourself is simple bu it isn't easy. You need to question your beliefs and discover which ones are absolutely true and which ones make you feel bad. It either feels good or it doesn't. Some of us are challenged in this quest as we have suppressed our feelings for so long we don't know how we feel. The simple way to begin getting in touch with your feelings is to breathe. Conscious breathing in itself is an act of loving yourself. by Al Rodee This beautiful young lady, at 5 years old, condensed all that I had been studying and trying to put into words that everyone could understand. As we sat around her dining room table she told her Pop-Pop that "if you can't control yourself, you can't control anyone." Yes, out of the mouth of babes....
The greatest of all control is indeed self-control. You can't be controlled if you control yourself, and because if you don't then someone else will. Self-control is developed the same way as we tone up a weak muscle, by doing little exercises day by day. It is by speaking kindly to someone when they are being rude, putting away your own interests (TV, phone, internet) to talk to a child, acquaintance, friend or family), taking care of the little things in life so they don't become the big things, counting your blessings instead of complaining about your disappointments and a million other decisions we have every day. You can attain great things only in the discipline of attaining small things, days filled with personal victories. As William George Jordan wrote in The Kingship of Self-Control (I love the old writings). "With no useless regret for the past, no useless worry for the future, you should live this day as if it is your only day - The only day to assert all that is best in you, The only day to conquer all that is worst in you." This is the day! |